What is self esteem?

It’s many things. Here are some of them.

Self esteem is learning to like yourself (as you are!). Self esteem is learning to see yourself as a friend would see you, as a person worthy of respect. Self esteem is learning that it is not being selfish if you want things - perhaps you’d like to go to university; you’d like to have a top flight career; and you’d like to dress well.

Self esteem is learning that people from all sorts of walks of life should treat you with respect and courtesy. Self esteem is learning that your health and fitness should be seen as being of the same worth as a more petite and younger person. Self esteem is learning that your opinions should be respected. Self esteem is learning that your intelligence should never be questioned. Self esteem is learning that how you dress is your choice and that you shouldn’t be expected to accept derision or contempt. Self esteem is learning that you have a special place in this universe, and no one has the right to take this away from you.

Self esteem is learning that you have rights. Rights that may include being able to choose for yourself those things that will make you happy. Choosing for yourself those things that you don’t agree with. Choosing for yourself your own circle of friends. Choosing for yourself what you may eat and what you may choose not to eat.

Self esteem is learning that no one has the right to push you into doing things that you don’t want to do. Self esteem is learning that you can do what you want if you really want to. Self esteem is learning that you can wish for anything you want and then go out and make your wishes come true.

Self esteem is learning that you have a right to be loved. By others and by yourself. Self esteem is learning that no one has a right to belittle you, to put you down or to walk over you.

Self esteem is learning that you have the right to pursue a career, and that promotions are part and parcel of that career,

Self esteem is learning that you have the right to look for a partner and the right to be loved and respected by that person.

Self Esteem - if you want it, you have to work at it

Nobody ever said it was easy - but then if something is worthwhile it’s worth fighting for ...

Today in the 21st Century, women are targetted with never-ending pressures to follow the dictates of many sections of society to meet a certain criteria. That criteria has been set by people who are not perfect, so the probability that we can attain the standard demanded of us, is impossible.

That doesn’t stop them from pestering us, nor does it stop us, for that matter, from turning ourselves inside out (both physically as well as emotionally) in an effort to become more acceptable to these people. As a result of unabated intolerance, whether it be based on our size, shape, weight or age, we begin to believe the negative insinuations voiced and displayed through magazines and television.

It doesn’t take too long before we are agreeing with them, maybe not so much verbally, but certainly from an internal guilt attitude. If we had self-esteem to start with, then it quickly begins to erode, as year after year we are buffeted with unhealthy discriminatory attitudes. We lose the fight to overcome this sort of treatment until such time as the perpetrators of this intolerance believe they’ve won the battle.

But from the point of view of a woman who also happens to be plus-size, I personally made a stand against this intolerance, and surprised everyone, including myself!

My story runs parallel with thousands of others, in that being a taller and larger child I was subjected to rudeness and humiliation from a tender age by one of my parents. The other loved me unconditionally!

Many women confide their childhood was one of utter confusion. If some members of their family showed affection towards them, then those who couldn't tolerate them being chubby or even taller than others at a similar age, showed hostility and disdain. Growing up in such an atmosphere will make anyone confused! This confusion may go on for years, and may sadly continue without a solution.

To be continued a little later.

Have you missed me?

I've been busy! Some might say that's only an excuse for not prioritising my work. They're probably right.

I'm a "late bloomer". I'll admit that. And blogging is something that I thought I'd like to do years ago, when the phrase first entered our vocabulary. But as usual, I put the thought to one side, until such time as I actually did something about it. And I did. But still I haven't been disciplined in doing a blog frequently.

Another decision has been made. I'm going to set myself a schedule to ensure that all my blog sites are looked after, and are maintained and kept up to date. How's that for being disciplined?

I'll be bringing some of the articles that appeared in "Big Issues", the small newsletter I created a while back. Those articles are as pertinent today as they were when I first wrote them. For plus-sizers everywhere, the "big issues" are still there - in society, within families and friendships, and within the media, the fashion industry and even the medical profession. Things are changing, yes, but ever so slowly, so we'll recap some of those things while at the same time updating those that have undergone change for the better.

So keep tuned!